It has come to my attention lately that the name of this blog very nearly amounts to false advertising. (I will give you a moment to catch your breath at the sudden realization that this is, in fact, completely true.) There is snark, yes. But there have been no cookies. I shall remedy this immediately.
1/2 c. shortening
1/2 c. margarine or butter, softened
2 t. cream of tartar
1 1/2 c. sugar
1 t. baking soda
1/4 t. salt
2 3/4 c. flour
2 T. sugar + 2 t. cinnamon
In large bowl, mix shortening, butter, sugar and eggs until smooth. Stir in cream of tartar, 1 1/2 c. sugar, baking soda, and salt. Blend in the flour 1/2 cup at a time. (And yes, I know the last one will be a quarter cup. You can deal with it, I’m quite sure.) If it’s kind of gooey still, pour in a little more flour. You should be able to roll it into balls without it sticking all over your fingers.
Have a bite. Yum! Isn’t that good? (We are going to pretend we don’t know about raw eggs and salmonella and that what we don’t know really won’t hurt us.) It’s the butter, of course, but the cream of tartar is what makes you want to have another bite. Go on, we won’t tell.
Now mix the 2 T. sugar with the 2 t. cinnamon in a little bowl. Roll a piece of dough into about a 1″ ball and either dip it in the cinnamon sugar (if you like having bits of plain dough around the edges of the finished cookie) or roll it around until it’s covered (if you like having extra cinnamon sugar baked into the bottom of the cookie). Eat it.
Try one the other way (rolled around or just dipped, whichever one you didn’t just do). Eat it too. See which you like better.
Make the rest of them that way, and place on an ungreased baking sheet far enough apart that when they get all melty and squishy they still have room to spread without becoming one giant puddle of cookie. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
If there is leftover dough that isn’t QUITE enough to make a cookie, roll it in cinnamon sugar. Eat it. It is acceptable to carefully plan the last few cookies to make sure that the dough left in the bowl would make about 95% of a decent cookie, but really not quite enough for one now that you look at it. Feel free to lick the spoon and use it to scrape out the extra bits in the bowl.
Bake the cookies at 400° for … oh, I don’t know, ten minutes or so? Depends on whether you like them crunchy on the edges, squishy in the middle, or somewhere in between. They’ll keep baking a little when they come out of the oven, so if they’re in there long enough to get brown, you’ll have little cinnamon sugar hockey pucks once they cool.
Move to a cooling rack as soon as you can take them off without them falling all to pieces. Eat the one that fell all to pieces. When cool, look at all the cookies and think, “… Ugh. I should not have had so much cookie dough.” Go for a long walk. Come home …
… and have a cookie.